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Martin Crowe found his heart broke

Silly Point
13 July, 2006

Martin Crowe, for quite some time, has been searching for his heart, and recently he found it broke.

Mr Martin Crowe, former New Zealand captain, was speaking at the sixth annual Cowdrey Lecture at Lord’s on Tuesday 11th July.

He became the sixth eminent cricketer to be invited to speak at the annual event, following Richie Benaud, Barry Richards, Sunil Gavaskar, Clive Lloyd and Geoffrey Boycott. The Cowdrey Lecture was inaugurated in 2001 in memory of the late Lord Cowdrey of Tonbridge, a past President of MCC, who – together with another former President, Ted Dexter – was instrumental in the Spirit of Cricket being included as the preamble to the 2000 Code of the Laws of Cricket.

The reason for his broken heart is none other than Bangladesh and Zimbabwe, the two countries who are playing Test cricket at present.

Mr Crowe so very worried for the number of Test cricket that is being played now a days that his heart is bleeding for the well being of those who are taking the field today.

He went on suggesting, where it obviously doesn’t require his meddling, that a suitable reduction in the amount of international cricket could be achieved by ending the Test status currently enjoyed by both Bangladesh and Zimbabwe.

Our hearfelt sympathy goes to Mr Crowe, who surely is unable to cope with loss of sleep and loss of hair due to the outrageous activities carried out by Bangladesh and Zimbabwe. But he should take some solace from the fact that Richie Benaud and Geof Boycott are reportedly suffering from the similar ailment.

A kind Mr Crowe, to show the world that he cares, also extended his hand of support, where it is not needed, for Bangladesh which according to him had suffered as a result of so little first-class cricket now being played by international touring teams.

He, fondly recollecting his loving memory, pointed out:

“When Sri Lanka toured the world in the 1980s, they prepared for Tests by playing first-class games on tour, like countries before them did. These days there is barely any preparation at all. Therefore Bangladesh is learning how to play first-class cricket at Test level, which is never going to work.”

Indeed, Bangladesh is learning how to play Test cricket by playing it unlike the golden old days of yesteryears where Mr Crowe belonged.

As far as Zimbabwe is concerned, it appears Mr Crowe has already washed his hands off that messy affair.

No support for them whatsoever, as he argued, they are simply “not up to international standard” - even if one would ignore the question of whether “a country where cricket is so inter-related with its shocking politics should be dignified with international cricket status.”

Shocking indeed!

Mr Crowe also revealed the secret of the century that both countries appeared to have been kept on the international stage for political, rather than cricketing reasons.

Congratulations! Mr Crowe has spoken like a true champion! But, then again, some may find that as another tedious argument with insidious intent.

Unfortunately for Mr Crowe, ICC has come out clean to rebuff this utter nonsense by brushing his foul cry aside.

Mr David Richardson, ICC General Manager – Cricket, commented:

“Bangladesh has taken time to adjust to the demands of Test cricket but that mirrors the experience of every side that has stepped up to the top level.

“Bangladesh is a cricket-crazy country and has shown encouraging signs of development and, given time, we fully expect it to become more and more competitive at Test level.

“Zimbabwe has already stepped back from its Test commitments to allow itself time to regroup and we are keen to help it in that process in any way we can.”

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